A Lesson From HistoryDate: Saturday, 28th Dec 2019
"Are you the Spirit, Sir, whose coming was foretold to me"? asked Scrooge.
"I am. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past" he replied.
The Ghost was an old man protected from the winter`s night with his Pars beanie and scarf.
"I waited ages for David in the Club Shop to get me my beanie" the Ghost moaned.
"Forget that!" demanded Scrooge impatiently. "Long Past"?
"No your past !" the Ghost replied." Come, take my hand. We are going to Christmas Day 1966".
"It`s Ibrox as it was" gasped Ebeneezer. "The Day we won 2-3 here. I was at home with a tranny; a transistor", he corrected himself, as words have changed meaning over the years."
"I am glad you told me" confessed the Ghost. "There were Thomson, Paton, Martin and Edwards back then and the same today. They must be getting on a bit".
They both stood and admired the 30 yard screamer by Bert Paton and the brace by Hugh Robertson.
"How did you know of this game" Scrooge enquired ?
I read "Black and White Magic" and "Dunfermline Athletic 1885-1985" on my way to you, he explained. "Did you have siblings"? The Ghost asked.
"I had my Fanny" Scrooge answered.
"Is that another word which has changed meaning" the Ghost asked ?
"She gave birth to my dear nephew, Fred".
"Got you!" the Ghost said.
Suddenly they were at the away End in the snow at East End, the Stadium Of Dreams.
"I know this, I know this !!" Ebeneezer shouted. Dunfermline 6 Raith Rovers 0.
New Year`s Day 1968. I was SO happy" Scrooge exclaimed!
"Were you not happier when you were older"? The Ghost asked.
"No, I got married but my wife, from Falkirk, hated me #%$!@~ . I knew that when I had a massive heart attack and she `wrote` for an ambulance!".
"What induced the attack" the Ghost asked sympathetically?
Oh, Dunfermline, alarmingly, let Lee Robinson go".
Was the marriage already in trouble then"?
"Yes. We had got a water bed. One night it punctured and we just drifted apart."
"Do you recall the halcyon days"? The Spirit asked.
I never knew what that flipping word meant" Ebeneezer groaned.
"It turns up in Premier Bound, The Giant That Awoke and Simply The Best but no one knows".
"NO! what I mean is do YOU remember that era" ?
"Oh yes" he smiled "The "Frost Report" had the Cleese, Corbett, Barker Class Sketch; Girls had mini skirts you don`t forget that !. The Beatles sang "Eleanor Rigby" and "Paperback Writer"; Julie Goodyear joined "Corrie"; Dunfermline Cinemas (Regal, Kinema, Alhambra, Palace) showed "A Man For All Seasons"; kids watched "Camberwick Green", Cilla Black was in the charts with "Alfie" and Labour won the 1966 General Election".
"Gosh, it WAS a long time ago" the Spirit agreed. "Wasn`t there a massive Football event" the Ghost prompted?
"Can`t think of one " Scrooge lied unconvincingly!.
The Spirit was clutching a "Dunfermline Press" from 1966." Look at these prices. Milk 4d, Sugar 7d, Beer 11d, a Loaf 6d, Potatoes 4d, and Cinema and Football admission around 20d. Furthermore,it was pounds, shillings and pence."
"What will the Ghosts of Christmas Present and Future teach me" Scrooge asked apprehensively?.
"Well the Ghost Of Christmas Future sees Dunfermline back in the Premiership and competing in Europe under Manager Joe Cardle" the Ghost announced.
"And the Present" asked Scrooge,excitedly?
"Barcelona sign Kevin Nisbet and an Arab Sheikh called Muller, with extensive interests in dairy farming, pumps millions into the Club"
"Do fans aged 60-64 get their reduced Seasons again" asked Ebeneezer ?
"We are not doing fantasy" said the Ghost.
"What changes does the Milk Sheikh bring in"asked Scrooge? "
Well, the Club becomes Dunfermline Abubakar Amazon FC"
"Is this all a dream" asked Ebeneezer?
"Of course" the Spirit replied gently. "God bless us and every one."
And Tiny Tim did not die (even though he stood and shouted naughty things in the NW Stand).