Topic Originator: rawpars
Date: Sat 5 Feb 15:55
Dear people l think l need to say sorry again. last year l was blindfolded with what l thought was a blindfold but was in fact a tie and was taken by several people which l think were upper class accents and taken to a dark place. I could smell a burning smell and could taste the dust as l entered the room. I was then given an object which l thought was some kind of liquid explosive and it was then that the memories of my beloved Carrie and the 3000 offspring came to my head. Just as l had escaped the terrible covid 19 l feared that this was the end.
The tie was taken off and the light shone in my eye. For one moment l thought l saw the glimmer of a jim`ll fix it page on the neck of my sworn enemy Sir Keir but it must have been the effect of the burning which made me hallucinate. When my eyes focused l could see that in my hand was l think a can of Stella or was it Estrella and next to me was my friend Mr sunak. I begged with my captors that they give him a non alcoholic drink as l know he is a strict Muslim from my many jovial non racist jokes which l share with him.
Next to my horror they had pushed my beloved Carrie and my designer into the room .
"We are the civil servants " they said.
Then they took a photo of me with the can in my hand my trousers down and Pritti Patel under me playing twister.
It was then that l pulled my trousers up retracted my private parts and realised that this was a party.
I am a lion king not a lying prime minister.
Please forgive me
Post Edited (Sun 06 Feb 11:48)