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 Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Tue 14 Apr 11:01

How the lock down has affected local businesses.

======================================

Bra manufacturers have gone bust.

Submersible makers have gone under.

Food blender companies have gone into liquidation

Dog kennels have called in the retrievers.

The origami paper makers have folded.

The Heinz factory has been canned. They couldn't ketchup with orders.

Tarmac laying companies have reached the end of the road.

The bakery has run out of dough.

The clock maker has wound down and the owner gone cuckoo.

The Chinese has been taken away.

The shoe shop owner has put his foot down, and given his staff the
boot.

The laundrette has been taken to the cleaners.

Baby suppliers have spat the dummy.

The dentist is looking down in the mouth.

The plumbers have gone down the tubes.

Opticians are on the blink.

The broadcasting companies have called in the receivers.

The plastic surgeons business has gone tits up.
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: aaaaaaaaaargh  
Date:   Wed 15 Apr 19:33

8/10

A fine effort
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: dave67  
Date:   Fri 24 Apr 11:15

No bad

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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Mon 27 Apr 15:02

Tailors have gone for a Burton.

Boxing is out for the count.

Greyhound racing has gone to the dogs.

'Go East' Chinese takeaway has gone west.

Hermits have taken up social distancing.

Meanwhile the Holy Trinity are discussing whether to wear three masks or one.



Post Edited (Tue 28 Apr 12:21)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Mon 27 Apr 15:15

Good effort onandupthepars
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Mon 27 Apr 15:34

I'm sure there's plenty of mileage in this, Busspass. Great idea for a thread and excellent OP.

Come all you good lateral thinkers - Widtink, Kozma, GGRiva, Rasta, Parrot etc. everyone should have a go and keep the fun-times rolling!



Post Edited (Mon 27 Apr 15:37)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Mon 27 Apr 20:18

Bondage girls are strapped for cash

Tree surgeons are out on a limb

Lollypop men have reached the crossing point

Bingo callers can only shout one fat lady

Gardeners will have to dig deep

Bakers are kneading the dough

Laundrette owners are in a spin

Ironmongers have banned companion sets

Sweetie shops will suck it and see

Snooker players are at breaking point

Dart players cannot see a finish

Candle makers are at their wicks end

Soap makers are in a lather

Architects have gone back to the drawing board

Canoeists are sunk

Skiers are on a slippery slope

Ach that will do for noo :)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 12:11



Encore!

Who will win the Golden Globe for Lockdown Puns?



Post Edited (Tue 28 Apr 12:15)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 12:16

For bungee jumpers it's a stretch too far.

Limbo dancing is at an all-time low.

Accordionists are feeling the squeeze.



Post Edited (Tue 28 Apr 13:02)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 13:19

Painters have applied the final coat

Bookies are at odds with one another

Nasa has started the final countdown

Wrestlers are trying to grapple with the lockdown

Golf clubs are shafted

Tennis clubs are making a racket

Gynaecologists have plunged to new depths

Poker players have packed it in

Knee pad makers are skint

Telescope makers have seen it far enough

Ladder makers have reached as far as they can

Casino’s have rolled the last dice

Diarrhoea pill makers have decided to call it squirts

Hay fever pill makers say its not to be sniffed at

Boiler makers are feeling the heat

Lobster fishermen are feeling the pinch
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 13:35

Bravo - well done Busspass, I'm enjoying your efforts. It's fun to read them and fun to try and think o' them. Of course, for some folk I suppose business has never been so good. I find it even harder to think o' them though. Well, home deliveries is one. I'll work on it.
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 19:08

We need a wee bit release in these worrying times onandupthepars I enjoy things like this gets the auld brain working and keeps me young loved your limbo one :)

We are forever shaped by the Children we once were


Post Edited (Tue 28 Apr 20:15)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 19:11

πŸ‘



Lettuce seed sales are rocketing.

Sanitizers are cleaning up.

Bank robberies are down. Robbers can't afford the masks.



Post Edited (Tue 28 Apr 19:14)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Tue 28 Apr 22:16

Karcher are under pressure

DFS have said sofa so good

B & Q said were closed so do it yourself

Spec-savers have had their eyes opened

Laundrettes are washed out

Glue makers have come unstuck

Joiners have saw dust

Electricians are con -fused

Lawyers have rested their case

Mediums are now an extra large

Kilt makes are de-pleated

Spoon makers are living hand to mouth
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Wed 29 Apr 19:40

Brake fluid makers have had to stop

Anti-freeze makers have had their assets frozen

Apple growers have lost their core business

Dunlop tyres sales have gone flat

House sales have reached basement level

Flour mills have ground to a halt

Mirror makers on reflection saw it coming

Cake makers have lost hundreds and thousands

Butchers are down to the bare bones

Tree fellers are now one feller
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Wed 29 Apr 20:50

πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Some crackers there Buspass.

My puny efforts today:

The COOP have hired Babe Ruth because he was good at home runs.

People have complained that after delivery men stand on their doorsteps they're no use for sandwiches.



Post Edited (Wed 29 Apr 22:30)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Wed 29 Apr 20:57

Ta onandup think I'm scraping the barrel now tho No hud oan that wis the coopers
Aye the store plain breed doorstep wi hame made raspberry jam boys oh boy
Take care

We are forever shaped by the Children we once were


Post Edited (Wed 29 Apr 22:09)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: onandupthepars  
Date:   Wed 29 Apr 22:37

Aye proper breed wrapped in greaseproof paper, an' home made jam wi' a few deed wasps in. That's why we're so healthy πŸ˜ƒ To be continued methinks...



Post Edited (Wed 29 Apr 22:38)
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 Re: Lockdown affecting business
Topic Originator: Buspasspar  
Date:   Fri 1 May 19:26

Can mind back in the 50's onandupthepars we had blackcurrant bushes and remember ma Mam and Dad sitting wi wee scissors topping and tailing each blackcurrant to make the jam

Also remember we bought chickens with the feathers still on and ma Gran burning them off the chicken with lighted newspaper

The guid auld days :)

Take care
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