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 Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: Pars232  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 12:08

https://youtu.be/sVcu8Hwv8u8

Police Scotland are running this campaign. I’m surprised football clubs aren’t sponsoring this.

Has there been engagement with Scotland’s most favoured sport? I think they may be missing a trick.

Changing attitudes don’t happen overnight but what, if anything, will you do differently?

Don’t be that guy
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: Milos Drizzle  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 12:19

Really good content, IMHO. Should be food for thought for most guys to at least some degree, if we're being completely honest with ourselves.

This is my signature
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: Jjonjord  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 14:21

https://youtu.be/sVcu8Hwv8u8

Post Edited (Thu 21 Oct 14:24)
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: jake89  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 14:37

This is great. It needs ALL guys to get on board with this and call out the poor behaviour of their pals too.
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: GG Riva  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 16:59

It's excellent but I can't help but think that any male who reacts positively to it, would never indulge in unacceptable sexual behaviour, while those who would will dismiss it.



Not your average Sunday League player.
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: EastEndBoy  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 17:27

Deleted

...ken?

Post Edited (Thu 21 Oct 17:27)
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: EastEndBoy  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 17:28

Quote:

GG Riva, Thu 21 Oct 16:59

It's excellent but I can't help but think that any male who reacts positively to it, would never indulge in unacceptable sexual behaviour, while those who would will dismiss it.


It's better to do something than nothing.

...ken?
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: P  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 17:51

This needs constant reinforcement now and the decent folk who wouldn’t behave this way should feel supported to act as allies and call out this behaviour

….and that group that would dismiss it need to feel like the enemy and not a bit of a lad.




Post Edited (Thu 21 Oct 17:53)
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: Milos Drizzle  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 19:02

Quote:

GG Riva, Thu 21 Oct 16:59

It's excellent but I can't help but think that any male who reacts positively to it, would never indulge in unacceptable sexual behaviour, while those who would will dismiss it.


I suppose it's a continuum. The vast majority of guys will be at the lesser end, but if this sort of discourse shifts everyone down a bit on that continuum, then that will be progress.

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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: GG Riva  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 19:17

I agree with all 3 posts above. I wasn't meaning to imply that it wasn't worth doing. Even if it stopped one male doing it, it would be well worthwhile.



Not your average Sunday League player.


Post Edited (Thu 21 Oct 19:18)
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: Berry  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 21:25

I think if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, we’ve all done at least one of those things in our lifetime in the clip intending it to be harmless without fully understanding the impacts it has.

It’s a very simple but effective video that gets the message across very clearly in my opinion.

Post Edited (Thu 21 Oct 21:25)
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: red-star-par  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 21:45

Quote:

Berry, Thu 21 Oct 21:25

I think if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, we’ve all done at least one of those things in our lifetime in the clip intending it to be harmless without fully understanding the impacts it has.

It’s a very simple but effective video that gets the message across very clearly in my opinion.


I used to always try and pay people a nice compliment, if a guy at work had a nice shirt, I would say "nice shirt", likewise I have been known to say to women "that's a nice dress, I like the pattern", or to men or women "you've had a haircut, that suits you". No one ever seemed to take offence and it usually led to a pleasant conversation. One day someone pointed out to me that it could be seen as inappropriate behaviour, which I was really surprised at and had never really considered. Nowadays I just keep my thoughts to myself and just don't bother talking to folk. It's not worth the hassle
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: jake89  
Date:   Thu 21 Oct 22:57

It's not what's said, it's how and when it's said. I know two women in my office who have had messages sent via Teams saying things like "your dress looks nice" and "your hair looks good". It might seem innocent in the office but is very creepy when sent as a message during a meeting. To be clear, this "man" then went on to say further things that removed any suggestion of innocence. Neither woman wanted to take it further but there was a word in his ear about his behaviour.
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: EastEndBoy  
Date:   Fri 22 Oct 08:07

Quote:

red-star-par, Thu 21 Oct 21:45

Quote:

Berry, Thu 21 Oct 21:25

I think if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, we’ve all done at least one of those things in our lifetime in the clip intending it to be harmless without fully understanding the impacts it has.

It’s a very simple but effective video that gets the message across very clearly in my opinion.


I used to always try and pay people a nice compliment, if a guy at work had a nice shirt, I would say "nice shirt", likewise I have been known to say to women "that's a nice dress, I like the pattern", or to men or women "you've had a haircut, that suits you". No one ever seemed to take offence and it usually led to a pleasant conversation. One day someone pointed out to me that it could be seen as inappropriate behaviour, which I was really surprised at and had never really considered. Nowadays I just keep my thoughts to myself and just don't bother talking to folk. It's not worth the hassle


It's likely that you knew those people, they knew you, they liked you and understood that the comments were sincere and innocent.

...ken?
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: EastEndBoy  
Date:   Fri 22 Oct 08:07

Quote:

jake89, Thu 21 Oct 22:57

It's not what's said, it's how and when it's said. I know two women in my office who have had messages sent via Teams saying things like "your dress looks nice" and "your hair looks good". It might seem innocent in the office but is very creepy when sent as a message during a meeting. To be clear, this "man" then went on to say further things that removed any suggestion of innocence. Neither woman wanted to take it further but there was a word in his ear about his behaviour.


This creep however...this is who the video is really for.

...ken?
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: jake89  
Date:   Fri 22 Oct 08:33

Quote:

EastEndBoy, Fri 22 Oct 08:07

Quote:

jake89, Thu 21 Oct 22:57

It's not what's said, it's how and when it's said. I know two women in my office who have had messages sent via Teams saying things like "your dress looks nice" and "your hair looks good". It might seem innocent in the office but is very creepy when sent as a message during a meeting. To be clear, this "man" then went on to say further things that removed any suggestion of innocence. Neither woman wanted to take it further but there was a word in his ear about his behaviour.


This creep however...this is who the video is really for.


100%.
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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: wee eck  
Date:   Fri 22 Oct 09:50

Is it likely Sarah Everard`s attacker would have responded to this sort of campaign? Maybe it`s directed more at people like his colleagues who were apparently aware of his behaviour but did nothing to stop it.

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 Re: Don’t be that guy
Topic Originator: EastEndBoy  
Date:   Fri 22 Oct 12:35

Quote:

wee eck, Fri 22 Oct 09:50

Is it likely Sarah Everard`s attacker would have responded to this sort of campaign? Maybe it`s directed more at people like his colleagues who were apparently aware of his behaviour but did nothing to stop it.


Scum like him will do what they do regardless. But the root causes begin long before that sort of attack. Like, for example as you said, his colleagues inaction over a a long period of time which, to all intents and purposes, was as good as encouraging it.

This should be a discussion about wider societal sexism and mysogyny. The subtle, 'normalised', under the radar stuff that, in isolation, maybe doesn't sound like a big deal (like some of the examples in that video), but ultimately contributes to attitudes and behaviours that make women's daily lives that little bit harder than they should be.

...ken?
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