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 Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 00:13

Oh deary me, there's a nasty beastie staring down at me from the ceiling in the sitting room just now. It's a huntsman spider, maybe four inches from one outstretched hairy leg to the other. The damn thing came into the house when I brought in firewood this morning.

We are in a Mexican standoff situation at the moment - he knows that I want to capture him, but he's safe for now because the ceiling is too high for me to reach him and I know that if I don't catch him, he's going to find an excuse to bite me when I least expect it.

Patience is required. This is going to be a long war of attrition...

:)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: sadindiefreak  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 01:52

Best solution is to burn your house down.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Parsweep  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 07:24

Charge him "digs" money . He'll probably clear off .

Bobvo
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 07:27

Ever get the feeling you picked the wrong country?!?
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: PARrot  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 10:18

Build a wall.

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: twin par  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 10:49

Friend of mine stayed in Australia for a wee while. What finished her off was a huntsman spider in her shower.Dont tell you about that on those fancy immigration programs.😊! She moved back to dunfy, she was terrified of the things.Luckily her house had not yet been sold.

Post Edited (Tue 02 Apr 19:05)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: widtink  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 10:51

Find some common ground with it.
Open up a dialogue.
You never know, you might find that you start to bond.
Spiders need love too.
You could go for long walks to the beach etc... Maybe teach it to catch a Frisbee.
I have read that spiders make great pets.
(but not in my hoose... They have to die... Cos I'm a big feardie) 😂



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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: parsmad68  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 11:32

Ask it for a referendum
It will decide to leave by itself
Then it will not be happy with terms you have given it
It will then review its position
It will then decide it wants to stay a little longer.
It will then negotiate terms where you have to give it wants before it leaves.
Then it will decide that it is not happy with those terms and demand more.
Then you will ask it to resign, but it is a female huntsman.
It will decide when to go, not you.
Then it will tell you no, yes, maybe all at the same time, but remember, you are to blame as you asked for the referendum in the first place.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 11:35

Quote:

parsmad68, Tue 2 Apr 11:32

Ask it for a referendum
It will decide to leave by itself
Then it will not be happy with terms you have given it
It will then review its position
It will then decide it wants to stay a little longer.
It will then negotiate terms where you have to give it wants before it leaves.
Then it will decide that it is not happy with those terms and demand more.
Then you will ask it to resign, but it is a female huntsman.
It will decide when to go, not you.
Then it will tell you no, yes, maybe all at the same time, but remember, you are to blame as you asked for the referendum in the first place.


Nonsense spexit means spexit.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: parsmad68  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:01

I presume by OzPars silence he is either still in standoff mode, sleeping or dead!
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: widtink  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:16

Or engaged in a fight to the death ☠



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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:42

I blinked. I went to the loo. When I came back he'd disappeared! He's in here somewhere; I just don't know where...

Things are really tense here.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:47

What a clever girl....waiting until you were gone. This reminds me of Jurassic Park when they were hunting velociraptors.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: PARrot  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:48

Best thread for ages. Many chuckles.
Cap doft to you all.

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Thaipar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 12:59

It might just end up on a wee holiday to Thailand. Make sure you and the wee one pack your own bags. Bring it along to meet Rigger he needs some company when we are gone Monday morning.

Please don't book me Admin, it will ruin my life.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: widtink  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:05

Cram yer hoose wi chestnuts... Spiders hate chestnuts... I think.
Or something like that.
If something that size wi 8 legs was missing somewhere in ma hoose... I wouldn't be in the hoose.
You obviously didn't take my advice about diplomatic talks with the spider... And now he's /she's declared war on you.
It'll have a wee headband on, camo face paint, and it's probably watching you in real time via a spider military satellite feed.
Usually they attack at dawn... 😂





Post Edited (Tue 02 Apr 13:06)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: parsmad68  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:39

It is a predator spider and you are knackered. Put a mud pack or face mask on. You will be ok after that
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:45

Hang on a minute... if the huntsman is indeed female and I don't capture it before I go on hols on Thursday, I could come back to a house full of big hairy beasties that really have an indisposition to humans.

They attack at dawn, did you say?

It's the stillness and the silence that gets to you; knowing something is out there watching your every move. I really must stay awake, stay alert.

For the sake of humanity, this can only have one outcome...
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: dave67  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:50

''Ask it for a referendum
It will decide to leave by itself
Then it will not be happy with terms you have given it
It will then review its position
It will then decide it wants to stay a little longer.
It will then negotiate terms where you have to give it wants before it leaves.
Then it will decide that it is not happy with those terms and demand more.
Then you will ask it to resign, but it is a female huntsman.
It will decide when to go, not you.
Then it will tell you no, yes, maybe all at the same time, but remember, you are to blame as you asked for the referendum in the first place.


Nonsense spexit means spexit.''

Nonsense

The spider is in the remain camp

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: richie5401  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:50

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/spider-app-launched-to-help-arachnophobes-identify-the-creepy-crawlies-they-find-at-home-9736200.html
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 13:58

You should be able to buy most of this gear from your local hardware store

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: richie5401  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 14:04

Lol...bean and tottie pies available two doors down.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: The One Who Knocks  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 15:32

The fact of the matter is a Huntsman Spider has staked a claim to the ceilings in Oz Pars house. Now you have two options. You can either kill this animal or cut off its food supply.

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: aaaaaaaaaargh  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 16:10

" I went to the loo. When I came back he'd disappeared!"

That's a schoolboy error. I would have just soiled myself there and then. No need to take a trip to the little boys' room.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: MikeyLeonard  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 16:14

Quote:

OzPar, Tue 2 Apr 13:45

Hang on a minute... if the huntsman is indeed female



Hang on another minute.....if the Huntsman is a female then we should be calling her a Huntswoman Spider. If not, someone might become offended on her behalf and complain about it, which could lead to dafc.net receiving a lawyers letter 😮
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Berry  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 18:39

Quote:

dave67, Tue 2 Apr 13:50

''Ask it for a referendum
It will decide to leave by itself
Then it will not be happy with terms you have given it
It will then review its position
It will then decide it wants to stay a little longer.
It will then negotiate terms where you have to give it wants before it leaves.
Then it will decide that it is not happy with those terms and demand more.
Then you will ask it to resign, but it is a female huntsman.
It will decide when to go, not you.
Then it will tell you no, yes, maybe all at the same time, but remember, you are to blame as you asked for the referendum in the first place.


Nonsense spexit means spexit.''

Nonsense

The spider is in the remain camp


Spexit is the same as Brexit really, all a web full of lies.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: twin par  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 22:27

Ok folks. I know its a laugh to some of us.But to be faced with a giant spider is a nightmare .Don't mind small critters, but large hairy ones cause serious trauma to lots of people.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: widtink  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 22:51

Including me... But I can still have a laugh about it.



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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: renegade master  
Date:   Tue 2 Apr 23:17

Topic Originator: MikeyLeonard like | nolike
Date: Tue 2 Apr 16:14

Quote:

OzPar, Tue 2 Apr 13:45

Hang on a minute... if the huntsman is indeed female



Hang on another minute.....if the Huntsman is a female then we should be calling her a Huntswoman Spider. If not, someone might become offended on her behalf and complain about it, which could lead to dafc.net receiving a lawyers letter 😮

Sexist Pig.

What if it is a trans gender and is maybe female but relates to being male?

In which case it is a hunts person spider and you now have to build a non gender specific toilet to ensure no-one has the right to judge and offend said hunts person spider! ;-)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: PARrot  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 04:02

Glad you put us all in the frame. Posters are cueing up for a pot at a solution but If you can't find the spider I"m afraid you may well be snookered..

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 05:43

He's back! Except he's even higher up on the ceiling than he was before. Brilliantly clever tactics - he's psyching me out.

I've tried talking him down, but he's having none of it. He thinks that I have ulterior motives... he's right.

This is bound to not end well for one of us... the question is, which one of us???

The clock is ticking. I have to leave for the airport in 18 hours. Right now, he seems to hold all the cards...
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 07:39

In all seriousness.....I read recently that it is generally the females that sit higher up so getting it shifted before you head off is a very good idea.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: back oh the net  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 09:18

Quote:

OzPar, Wed 03 Apr 05:43

He's back! Except he's even higher up on the ceiling than he was before. Brilliantly clever tactics - he's psyching me out.

I've tried talking him down, but he's having none of it. He thinks that I have ulterior motives... he's right.

This is bound to not end well for one of us... the question is, which one of us???

The clock is ticking. I have to leave for the airport in 18 hours. Right now, he seems to hold all the cards...


Would a ladder and a daily record no help? You could either batter it to death or let it read the headlines and mibby it will clear off? Failing that petrol and matches will work 😂

Come on ye pars ⚽️
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: MDCCCLXXXV  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 09:33

Oz , how high is your ceiling? there no way to vacuum her up ?

East End Park is a symbol of all that is DAFC.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: PARrot  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 10:18

Our youth was not all wasted. We practiced and perfected the ancient art of "Highest up the Wall" for moments like this.

Footnote: Keep yer chin back and pus well out the way.
Learned that from experience!

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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: parsmad68  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 10:19

Get Peggy from still game to come round and bake it in her cake.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 10:23

At its highest point, probably about 20 ft. I am getting a wee bit too auld to be climbing a ladder that high with any confidence. I have called a local pest controller and he's coming by tomorrow morning at 7.30.

I will go to sleep tonight with a frying pan handily placed near my pillow...

:)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: ipswichpar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 10:46

Quote:

OzPar, Wed 3 Apr 10:23

At its highest point, probably about 20 ft. I am getting a wee bit too auld to be climbing a ladder that high with any confidence. I have called a local pest controller and he's coming by tomorrow morning at 7.30.

I will go to sleep tonight with a frying pan handily placed near my pillow...

:)


I'd watch...given the size of the thing, it might pick it up and skelp you with it.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: The One Who Knocks  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 11:13

Pest controllers in Australia must live in gold plated houses and drive Ferraris.
Aren't Huntsman' quite common over there Oz? Also they aren't dangerous to people are they?

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: widtink  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 11:26

A quick Google brings this up...
Despite their often large and hairy appearance, huntsman spiders are not considered to be dangerous spiders. As with most spiders, they do possess venom, and a bite may cause some ill effects. However, they are quite reluctant to bite, and will usually try to run away... (unless it's a female protecting her offspring... They are very aggressive)... rather than be aggressive.
Wouldn't matter to me... I wouldn't share the same hoose as one of them.





Post Edited (Wed 03 Apr 11:28)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Bandy  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 11:28

I read somewhere that having a huntsman in the house could be considered a 'good' thing, given that, comparatively speaking, they aren't dangerous and actually do a really good job of scaring the real nasty spiders away....
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 11:39

On a scale of 1-10, huntsmen are not the most dangerous spiders in Australia, but they look horrible and can give you a nasty bite, though not fatal. You don't want them in the house if you can avoid it. They are more at home in the woods.

The funnel web is the most venomous I believe, but the redback is the one you really want to avoid... they are not very big and like to lurk under toilet seats. They can do serious harm to sensitive places.

:)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: The One Who Knocks  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 11:58

Good grief. Visit Australia!

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Thaipar  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 13:28

Rigger and I seen oz on a call today. Oz, brown is OK mate but with white shorts it really does show through. Brown on brown is good.

Please don't book me Admin, it will ruin my life.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: twin par  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 14:01

Australia is definitely not on my bucket list.😱
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: LochgellyAlbert  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 14:08

Make it watch the game from Friday night, it won't hang about!🕷🕷🕸🕸
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: parbucks  
Date:   Wed 3 Apr 15:16

Geez, I thought this thread was about politicians.



Post Edited (Wed 03 Apr 15:23)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: OzPar  
Date:   Thu 4 Apr 02:51

Peace has been declared. Spider safely deposited back to the woods and I am at the airport waiting for my flight to Bangkok.

:)
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Mario  
Date:   Thu 4 Apr 08:29

Next time play that old Who track about a spider...it’ll dance itself dizzy right oot the door.
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 Re: Don't like spiders and snakes...
Topic Originator: Meh-La  
Date:   Mon 22 Apr 15:31

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